When I started this silly little blog that I’ve grown to love so much, I was a bit trepidatious about what “angle” I was going to have.  Meaning, I love makeup, but have terrible fine motor skills and also don’t wear a full face most days, so I knew it couldn’t mainly be about those super cool looks 14-year-olds geniuses do on YouTube; I also knew I was pretty broke, so I couldn’t do super high end stuff constantly either.

.At the end of the day, I just figured I’d focus on what I actually use, because I have a pretty decent sense of when one should spend a lot of money, and when it’s okay to go for the cheaper stuff.  Not only that, but the vast majority of my friends (for whom this blog exists) are also not Super Duper IN IT Reviewing Products Constantly and Dropping Thousands at Sephora – but they’d like to know what stuff is good and what isn’t, especially when you’ve got fifteen minutes in Target before you have to pick up your kids and you both don’t want to waste your money nor settle for cheap shit that doesn’t do anything.

We are currently in the windy depths of winter; it hasn’t gone above 14° F in NYC for the last four days as I write this.  What that means is, even folks who shun any and all beauty and/or skin products are probably grabbing whatever Lubriderm or Jergens or what-have-you that they find in the end cap of a Rite Aid, because temperatures and dryness like this will wreak havoc on your skin, to the point of pain or at least discomfort and itchiness.  In terms of investment requirements, body lotion and moisturizer are probably the easiest things to skimp on when it comes to beauty/skin care.   There are thousands of kinds, and the vast majority get the job done in some capacity, so it isn’t incredibly important to do a lot of research.  Because they’re so common, they’re also pretty cheap – most huge bottles of body lotion at Target, Face Values, etc., are around $5 – $10.

However, there are some definite shitty ones: They don’t absorb well, or they’re way too greasy, or they smell really weird, or – or – or . . . You get the idea.  Not only that, but everyone has different needs/preferences.  I’m not always into super thick/creamy lotion, and I absolutely hate greasy ones, especially for my hands.  Luckily, because all of the body lotions I’m talking about today are easily available and all but one are reasonably priced, you can make that little time you have to pick one up worth it.

I’m going to do these from lightest/thinnest to thickest/most effective so you can get an idea of the variation.  Some people just need a light layer, others want to slather on half a bottle of the good stuff.  In addition, I highly recommend using an exfoliant before you put on lotion; if the lotion is just laying on top of your dead skin cells, it won’t absorb well and will actually make you itchier if that’s something you’re dealing with.  Hopefully before winter’s over I’ll have an exfoliant round-up ready, cause polishing my entire body is my favorite thing to do, but just using a loofah or exfoliating sponge in the shower instead of a washcloth or pouf should do the job.

And yes, all of these are currently in my house and I switch between them constantly because I am a maniac.

1.) Muji Seaweed Body Milk ($15)

There was a Muji store in SoHo that was moving to a new location, so literally EVERYTHING in it was at least half-off – including their body products.  You may know them mostly for their kick-ass organizational/office/travel stuff (little shelves and drawers, blankets that can be folded to be the size of your big toe, multiple sets of colored pencils and pens, etc.), but they have a great selection of skin care as well.  I picked up this Body Milk (can’t decide whether that’s a gross name or not) that day, and really, really like it.

First off, it’s pretty thin and runny.  The smell is incredibly light, clean and spa-like – the good spa, not the one you go to when the only thing keeping your head above water is a massage and you only have $30 in your bank account, not that I know anything about that.  It does not, thankfully, smell at all like seaweed.  And OMG, can we PLEASE stop letting beauty products smell like seaweed?  STOP IT.

Because it’s so thin and absolutely, positively non-greasy, it absorbs really quickly with no residue.  I use it when I’m in a bit of a hurry, as I don’t have to rub it in forever and it’ll be plenty dry/absorbed before I get dressed, so it won’t get on my clothes.  A great choice if you need efficiency and your skin is pretty balanced and not too dry.

2.) Fresh Cintron de Vigne Body Lotion ($23)

The reason I’m making that face is because I’m just seeing how bad/unprofessional that bottle looks, haaaaaa.  Yes, I’ve had it for awhile, and yes, it’s still just as good as the day I opened it.  This is the most pricey of all the lotions I’m going to talk about; it also is at more of a specialty store like Sephora as opposed to a drug store.  But I had to include it because it’s just so good.  The smell of this is about 50% why I love it so – though it’s a fantastic lotion.  But in terms of the smell, a bit of a story: I got this as a gift with the corresponding body wash, and when I saw the word “citron,” I was disappointed because I knew this stuff was expensive and I hate citrus smells.  They remind me of floor cleaner and Florida, and I don’t like either of those things (sorry Tina!!  I promise I’m coming to Harry Potter World though!!).

BUT, their scent scientists or whatever must be soooo good at their job, because this was the first and only citrus-y smelling thing that I didn’t just like, I loved.  It’s the perfect middle-of-winter pick-me-up; clean and fresh (duh) but there’s also a warmth to it that’s just really nice.  However, if you prefer other scents, they have grapefruit, sugar lychee, sugar lemon, and something called “fresh life” (for all of your vampire friends, I guess?).

While it’s creamier and a bit thicker than the Muji, it still is on the thin side, and completely non-greasy and easily absorbed.

What I like about it is that you can really spread it out well, and don’t need as much as you might think.

3.) Dove Cream Oil Intensive Body Lotion ($5.99)

I love, love, love this stuff, and it’s such a bargain for how well it works.  This is truly the “medium” of all the lotions I’m talking about today.  Even though the name has “intensive” and “oil” in it, I swear it’s not insanely thick or greasy.  It has a really nice, medium-thick texture (not runny at all, but easily spreadable).  While there is definitely a richness/oiliness to it, it isn’t overpowering or result in greasiness.  The thickness also means it’s going to take a bit longer to rub in and absorb, but this is a great option when you need a bit more oomph.

You can see it leaves a bit of shininess/sheen, but it’s incredibly effective.  The smell is a throwback to the 90s – and I love it.  It smells FANCY, as in 90s fancy, as in Your Mom Going to Her Boss’s Third Wedding in ’93 kind of smell, but not musky.  It isn’t a natural scent, like flowers or plants, and it also isn’t “spa-like;” it borders on a smell you’d find in a perfume and is completely artificial.  I happen to luuurrrvvvveee the smell, but keep that in mind if you’re sensitive to scent.

. . . Scent-sitive.

I had to.

4.) Eucerin Calming Creme ($6.89)

I debated whether this was thinner or thicker than #5, and I think it’s just baarreeely a smidge thinner, but that’s about it.  This is a great lotion to have in your medicine cabinet, because it does an insanely good job of getting rid of itchiness.  I actually bought it in the summer because I kept waking up with an itchy, sweaty neck (gentlemen?) that I felt like I could not get rid of, and then bought this and it fixed it immediately.  If itchiness is your thing, this is the stuff to get.  I’d put it on after showering and exfoliating, though, to get rid of any dead skin that might be causing discomfort.

This is a nice, thick lotion, with no scent.  It feels sort of refreshing putting it on, which makes me wonder if there’s some sort of cooling element in it like menthol (straight menthol isn’t in the ingredients, but maybe a science-y person knows if a similar ingredient is?).  It isn’t a strong effect, it’s just enough to give a nice sigh of, “Aaahhh!” if you’ve been suffering tight, itchy skin.

You definitely need to work it into your skin, as it’s relatively stiff/thick, but it’s worth the extra effort.  Granted, it’s not a fancy-schmancy going-to-adult-prom lotion, but it’s one of those ones I always re-buy when I run out.

5.) Palmer’s Coconut Oil Moisturizing Lotion ($4.49)

That face is saying, “Ooooh!” because this is my favorite lotion and the one I use most.  It’s – for me – the perfect thickness, which is to say pretty thick.  However, it’s also creamy and non-greasy, absorbs well, and gets! the! job! done!  Meaning, my limbs stay super soft for the entire next day after using it, and yet it doesn’t leave any sort of sheen or lay on top of skin.

Yeeaaaahhhh!!  I LOVE that thickness!  Look at you, all creamy and spreadable.  Thick enough that it stays put on my hand when I turn it.  That’s what I’m talking about!  Now, obviously, even though it absorbs well, it doesn’t absorb quickly.  Duh.  It’s thick, so that’s what’s up.  However, you’re ready to get dressed if you apply it before you’re finished getting ready.  Maybe give it about ten – fifteen minutes to fully get in there.

Oh, and it smells like coconut, in case that isn’t obvious, but not that awful, fake, sweet coconut smell that I despise.  It’s pretty light and natural-seeming.  This is an incredibly popular lotion, for good reason – it’s the most bang for your buck as it works well, is non-greasy, and lasts.

6.) Booda Butter ($14)

Hooooooooo boy!  If you are truly suffering . . . if you have cracked elbows and knees . . . if you want to feel like you’ve rolled around in actual butter and are wrapped in a soft, shiny blanket, then this is the stuff for you.  As you can see, it’s solid.  Its only ingredients are shea butter, coconut oil, cocoa butter, olive oil, and jojoba oil.  That’s it!  And yet . . . that’s so much!  It’s, like, ALL the oils!

About five or six years ago, I thought I had bought my last solid “shea butter” moisturizer, because I hate, hate, hated the waxy, weird, non-absorbing . . . layer it left on your skin.  Booda Butter, however, makes clear over and over that they’re wax-free, and that’s what sold me.  There also isn’t any added fragrance, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a scent.  It smells, legit, like chocolate – but not fake plastic-y chocolate.  My family used to have cocoa mulch around the house, and it smells exactly like that: unmistakably chocolately, but also with a dash of earthiness to it that marks it as totally natural.

Since this is all oil, all the time, it can melt with a rise in temperature.  Your own body heat really helps it absorb onto your skin; I’ve never melted it on purpose, but the moisturizing properties would be the same either way, and I’ve always found it incredibly spreadable for how thick/solid it is.

If you’re in a hurry, I’d just use it on trouble spots like elbows and knees.  The thing is, it’s all oil.  So, you’re definitely going to get a sheen, and it’s definitely going to take awhile to absorb, no matter how well you try to rub it in.  This is a great choice for after a nice, long bath . . . before bed time.  I wouldn’t use it in the morning before you get dressed, because it may get on your clothes if you don’t wait long enough.  This is my “treat” moisturizer; leaves you soft and supple well into the next couple of days.

Try not to eat it.  😉

***

So there it is!  Some relatively affordable, varying thickness/efficiency moisturizers for winter!  I hope you found something you’d like to try.  Before I go, here’s a photo from the start of this shoot, because I was super feeeeelliinnnnngggg my big-bump-sorta-messy-ponytail.

Alright, go get moisturized!  (But exfoliate first.)

Adios!