So when we left off at the last WTHIOYF, Rachel had completed 99% of her lewk, and was looking pretty flawless as it is.  However, it is my belief (and apparently hers) that a splash of a lip color – no matter how neutral the color, nor how neutral the rest of your makeup may be – is a great way to give a finished, polished appearance.  With the crazy amount of lip products out there, from the standard cream sticks to liquid-to-dry mattes, it’s good to look through even just the drug store offerings to find a basic, easy-to-use shade that throws your whole face into a sunbeam.

The last time Rachel visited me, she told me about her Smashbox Always On Matte Liquid Lipstick, and I definitely said I’d be getting it.  Well, of course I didn’t, and Rachel of course brought me some as a gift next time she came around.  She also killed in the “giving admired beauty products as gifts” department, following my Golden Rule about it: Always give the admired product in the shade flattering to the receiver, not exactly the same shade admired.  (I’m gonna get that embroidered onto a pillow.)

Anyway, Rachel’s color is Driver’s Seat and mine is in Bawse, a name I am now giving to my first-born.  I’d roll over and beg for a good red color, and the texture of these puts me over the edge:

As I say in the original, it’s very “paint-y” but actually not that creamy.  It has absolutely incredible pigment – this shit is SOLID.  You can see that the very first dots we put on our hands offer completely full and rich color, and even as its spread, it doesn’t lose its opacity.

I can’t lie – I had a little bit of trouble putting it on with such a high pigment, because like a liquid eyeliner, one small move and you feel like it’s all over.  An important note about this: It’s oil-based, and doesn’t come off with soap and water.  Instead, you need to use an oil-based cleanser to remove it.  Rachel (again, magic and more importantly, a PhD) once again has a great trick for you.

I use Jack Black Intense Therapy Lip Balm, which is oil based, to take off the Smashbox.  I just apply like normal over top of the color, then wipe it all off with a tissue.  It comes off really easily.

Included with the gift of lipstick, Rachel gave me my own Jack Black Lip Balm to use for this very purpose.  And let me tell you: It’s crazy how well this works.  The bonus is that your lips are also incredibly moisturized, which is great after you’ve had a matte (i.e., drying) color on all day.  And it WILL last all day.  But, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.

For a bolder color, take your time applying this stuff.  If I went “outside the lines,” I put a little of the lip balm on a Q-tip then ran it along where I wanted it gone.  Rachel recommends lining your lips with the very tip of it first, then filling it in.

Rachel took the liberty of showing how quickly it dries/doesn’t come off.  You’ll notice a bit on the coffee cup, but despite that, there’s no change in the opacity of the color.

We proceeded to walk all around Brooklyn, eating and drinking the whole way, and the color wasn’t affected.  Another Rachel Tip (TM)  is, because of the grease in foods and the oil-base of the product, that can take the color off, so be careful eating.  If you eat like a pig like me though, you’ll probably just keep doing that.

Guy’s!  That’s my first What the Hell is On YOUR Face? and that’s my friend Rachel!  Look!  MERMAID!  I can’t believe how fabulously the lip color goes with her eyes – the slight coral to it, mixed with the blue, again Your Honor: I testify that she is a land mermaid.

I can’t speak for her, but I had a total blast talking shop, taking a break from this cruel world, and just gettin’ purdy.  I hope this was enjoyable for folks reading as well, and if it wasn’t, may I interest you in a gif of my telling Rachel she needs to “find her angle”?

And how we’re basically Vogue models?

Alright!  Get outta here!  Seize the day!